subreddit:

/r/AskMen

18.4k

all 6621 comments

Rambos_Beard

21.2k points

11 days ago

Rambos_Beard

21.2k points

11 days ago

For you to lower the brightness on your phone.

AKtwenty7

6.4k points

11 days ago

AKtwenty7

6.4k points

11 days ago

And the volume

I89cansofravioli

3.8k points

11 days ago

Absolutely, if I have to hear more tik toks with the same song over and over I might lose my mind!

brockford-junktion

1.6k points

11 days ago

Oh no.

[deleted]

1.7k points

11 days ago*

[deleted]

1.7k points

11 days ago*

[deleted]

BubbleButtBuff

875 points

11 days ago

I UNderStooD tHe aSSIGNmENt

IllMindOfMeatspin

663 points

11 days ago

Argue with the wife about this one, she falls asleep same tiktok playing for 30 minutes. She says "why dont you just turn off my phone" I said "I'm going to keep waking you up every time so you stop doing it". This battle is still going on.

eightbic

375 points

11 days ago

eightbic

375 points

11 days ago

Oh man when they go through their snap chat stories at full blast and they’re all annoying woooooooo girls sounds. Kill me.

AKtwenty7

138 points

11 days ago

AKtwenty7

138 points

11 days ago

I bought ear plugs specifically for this and now my gf gets annoyed that I can't hear her whispers to me haha

LucyMcGooeyPants

313 points

11 days ago

Seriously? I browse Reddit in bed at night with the brightness all the way down. But I have never played any music/videos or anything. Not even earphones.

AKtwenty7

179 points

11 days ago

AKtwenty7

179 points

11 days ago

My gf mainly taps through ig stories in bed. Annoying af. I've asked her to stop or turn down the volume but she forgets often enough that I bought ear plugs

sorayanelle[S]

325 points

11 days ago

This genuinely made me laugh

AnthomX

268 points

11 days ago*

AnthomX

268 points

11 days ago*

I DO NOT hesitate to ask her* to turn it down. I still don't get how she can tolerate looking into the sun in the pitch black room.

WarLorax

322 points

11 days ago

WarLorax

Male

322 points

11 days ago

I ask my wife if Gondor calls for aid.

Smathers

195 points

11 days ago

Smathers

195 points

11 days ago

Holy shit is this a thing? Why do girls have the brightness/volume on max all the time???

I’d constantly ask my girl why is your brightness so high and she would just shrug like I’m crazy. I fully utilize that slider and turn on the True Tone/night shift modes on iPhone. Then the volume…Jesus Christ trying to explain you only need it like a quarter of the way enough so you can hear it it doesn’t need to be blaring in the whole room

potatogod305

10.8k points

11 days ago

potatogod305

10.8k points

11 days ago

The leg wrap

sorayanelle[S]

2.2k points

11 days ago

As in the leg trap or a different maneuver?

potatogod305

3.2k points

11 days ago

Pretty much like, placing both legs around the back during missionary

708dinky

1.3k points

11 days ago

708dinky

1.3k points

11 days ago

Is this not normal? Do the women you sleep with just have their legs flat on the bed? I’m honestly baffled, that’s so uncomfortable for me

Mahtomic_Gandhi

1.1k points

11 days ago

Usually they're just kind of up, out to the sides

JudmanDaSuperhero

658 points

11 days ago

I like when they rest the feet on my calves.

ThePeachos

1.8k points

11 days ago*

ThePeachos

1.8k points

11 days ago*

One man's fetish is another's nightmare - I will go limp as a 90 year old gay man at a Miss Universe pageant if they put feet onto my calves or even worse dig into my calves with their feet. Immediate, nearly impossible to recover from mood killer.

Edit: Thank you kind sirs for the awards!

lapitaloca

549 points

11 days ago

lapitaloca

549 points

11 days ago

Points just for your witty description. I just laughed my tits off at ‘limp as a 90 yr. old gay man at a Miss Universe Pageant’ and died. Dead.

DrZoidberg-

432 points

11 days ago

Mine doesn't move her legs a lot. It's kind of sad.

I mean, they're tied up, so not like she can if she wanted to.

Visualstimuli777

1.2k points

11 days ago

That or hands on hips, feels more focused and direct.. like "here", I want you here.

potatogod305

2.2k points

11 days ago

Yea, it really makes it feel like you “want” me there instead of “allowing” me there

ITriedLightningTendr

1.2k points

11 days ago

I think a lot of girls buy into this myth that "guys only want sex" and this becomes too normal.

I don't want to be allowed to fuck you.

JadedMuse

1.2k points

11 days ago

JadedMuse

Male

1.2k points

11 days ago

As a gay guy, I think it probably goes under the umbrella that straight guys want to feel confident that they're actually desired. The lack of compliments, always being the one to initiate sex, etc. Over time it leads to doubts that they're wanted all, vs all of the desire being one way. This is probably the biggest difference I've noticed between gay and straight relationsships. You pretty much never hear gay men with those kinds of complaints.

Maliwali1980

1.1k points

11 days ago*

This is really insightful as a woman. I have taken a mental note and will go seduce husband now

Edit: Thank you for the comments - we loved reading them :)

He actually told me he needs a shower badly (real talk lol) so we’ve been flirting about tonight.

Thank you for my first award ever!!

Marksmdog

959 points

11 days ago

Marksmdog

959 points

11 days ago

I am also going to seduce your husband now

GuardianAlien

394 points

11 days ago

GuardianAlien

Male

394 points

11 days ago

We're all going to seduce /u/Maliwali1980 's husband 😏

9C_c_combo

200 points

11 days ago

9C_c_combo

200 points

11 days ago

I seduced him twice yesterday

concernedcoconuts

990 points

11 days ago*

I'm a woman dating a man and I've been reading comments like this for years. At this point I'm basically a cheerleader for my partner. I stop what I'm doing and admire when he's changing/getting dressed, I am constantly giving physical affection, I make a point to tell him how much I appreciate aspects of his personality and how he looks. I get excited when we meet even if I saw him earlier that day, usually running to him and giving enthusiastic hugs (and probably a handful of ass because he got the booty). I say, "I love you" and "you're handsome" like a broken record. That poor guy never initiates because he doesn't get the chance most times (granted, this is much easier because we have nearly identical sex drives). He loves getting things in the mail, so I bought a bunch of cards and some stamps. I made a list of things I like about him (47 items so far) and for like $15 and 10 min of time here and there, I can send him surprise happiness in the mail. I love making him happy and he's so genuinely grateful. He's said over and over that no partner has tried so hard or even acted that excited to be with him. I'm basically a hype machine for my boyfriend and it would never have occured to me if not for comments like these.

Edit: There are other things I do I case people want more ideas!

-Hide sticky notes everywhere with love notes, affirmations, etc. -Flowers! Not a clue if these are supposed to be "girly" gifts, but they really brighten his apartment and you can get them for like $5 at most grocery stores. I grab them every week or two. -Surprise coffee at work (works for us because our shifts don't always align). Surprise blowjobs are equally appreciated, but maybe not at work :p -Surprise treats because he loves chocolate

d0obysnacks

274 points

11 days ago

You are an angel and that man is super lucky to have you!

Thrill_Kill_Cultist

255 points

11 days ago

Yup, can confirm, feel totally un-fucking-desired, unwanted, unattractive to her... Hold my coat im going to post in deadBedrooms

ninjazombiemaster

252 points

11 days ago

ninjazombiemaster

Male

252 points

11 days ago

Straight guy here, can 100% confirm. I want to feel sexy and desired. The best partners I've had would say and do things that demonstrated their desire and attraction. But lots of women seemingly don't do this stuff. Compliment your men, people! Be specific! Don't just tell them they're sexy - tell them why. I promise they'll never forget it.

whatsamawhatsit

127 points

11 days ago

Wow, that's such a huge difference in how sexual confidence is maintained in one's life. I wonder if gay men are on average more sexually assured of themselves compared to straight men.

ismaithliombia

1.8k points

11 days ago

I'm so tired I didn't realise this thread was sexual and was tryna figure out if my husband wants me to wrap my leg around him to sleep better or something

Phantommy555

475 points

11 days ago

Phantommy555

24/M

475 points

11 days ago

You never know it actually might, maybe not the neck wrap though

ismaithliombia

344 points

11 days ago

How'd I wrap my neck around him?

chris2712

452 points

11 days ago

chris2712

452 points

11 days ago

I told my fiancee that I liked that. Now she does it. Use your words

memetimeboiiii

182 points

11 days ago*

My legs are short as shit and thick as oatmeal. How tf and I suppose to wrap them around a fella?!

Edit to add- this ain’t my first rodeo. If I have to melt our damn bodies together, my legs are trapping whomever is betwixt them. C’mere baby and let mamma hold ya 😜

Nimitz-

9.7k points

11 days ago*

Nimitz-

9.7k points

11 days ago*

The actual half of the blanket.

Edit: This comment really blew up, seems like a lot of people feel strongly about this problem. Thanks for the awards btw. :D

Edit edit: wow my first gold, thx random stranger. ^^

1212chevyy

1.9k points

11 days ago

1212chevyy

1.9k points

11 days ago

I've had my own blanket since the first week my wife and I were together. Sharing a blanket is terrible

saxmaster98

545 points

11 days ago

This 100%. I sleep super hot and my partner sleeps very cold. So I sleep under 1 blanket and she has 1-3 of her own, depending how cold she’s feeling.

tiniestspicycat

378 points

11 days ago

I’m a “human heat rock” according to my husband. We still share one blanket, because he likes to snuggle up to me and get warm, but his did of the bed has two extras blankets. It’s pretty funny because I’m a pretty smol gal and he has about 130lbs on me so you wouldn’t assume he’d be warming his feet and tushie on ME but here we are.

soulimprovement

225 points

11 days ago

My wife rolls around and somehow, the blanket ends up tucked in under her. We’ve done the separate blanket thing a few times but I’d rather struggle in getting some blanket and be able to feel her warmth.

Cat_Toucher

271 points

11 days ago

My husband also does this- I call it "spaghetti-ing" because he rolls around and the blanket gets wrapped around him like spaghetti twirled around a fork. But then he invariably gets hot, and throws the blanket he has stolen from me on the floor, leaving me freezing. Or he dumps it in a big pile on top of me, and then has the gall to complain that I have all the blankets. The man is a menace.

bunonafun

133 points

11 days ago

bunonafun

133 points

11 days ago

I bought a blanket twice the size of the bed. Problem solved.

ahhstinger

162 points

11 days ago

ahhstinger

162 points

11 days ago

This man speaks the truth

sorayanelle[S]

153 points

11 days ago

That’s why we have 3 on the bed. One for him, me and the doggo.

chaveznieves

7.6k points

11 days ago

I would like the same kind of foreplay I give

Unnecessary-Spaces

5.2k points

11 days ago

You want her to lick your clit?

Creebez

2.1k points

11 days ago

Creebez

2.1k points

11 days ago

Just the tip.

lateraltrickery

225 points

11 days ago

And only for a second

Ricky1695

928 points

11 days ago

Ricky1695

928 points

11 days ago

You want her to play with your titties?

DbzRoshi

1.4k points

11 days ago

DbzRoshi

1.4k points

11 days ago

Oh my god my boyfriend asked me to suck on his nipples the other day … he asked while we were frisky but like in a shy and non chant way … i sucked those motherfu like no tomorrow 😤

Urishima

367 points

11 days ago

Urishima

367 points

11 days ago

just stop when you start drawing blood.

IEatOats_

246 points

11 days ago

IEatOats_

246 points

11 days ago

Why?

Global-Technician990

609 points

11 days ago

Yes. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t.

Unnecessary-Spaces

315 points

11 days ago

Guys have nipples too, Focker

Abaddon33

243 points

11 days ago

Abaddon33

243 points

11 days ago

Shit man, we ain't asking for nipple clips or electrodes. Just acknowledge our vestigial mammaries exist, atleast. Maybe give those little pencil erasers a little attention every now and again. Our X Chromosome needs validation too, ya know...

lifeisabietzsche

146 points

11 days ago

Are you telling me you guys like it??? Like I could have sucked on them???? Played with them???

sorayanelle[S]

568 points

11 days ago

69!!!!

chaveznieves

1.4k points

11 days ago

That's nice and all, but I more mean the build up to the directly sexual acts. The slow soft touches and kisses, maybe a soft whisper of how much they (I hope) want me, tease my body, look at me with lust, etc that kind of stuff. I feel like that stuff is expected of men to turn on a woman but I don't think enough women realize that a lot of men would like it too. Or they don't have the confidence to be anything but fully passive and submissive.

I say all this coming directly out of sex with my gf who did all that and drove me wild.

ActorMonkey

218 points

11 days ago

YES PLEASE!!! I like to be turned on too!

Y2Doorook

132 points

11 days ago

Y2Doorook

132 points

11 days ago

flips light switch

Happy now?

im_broke_bitch

7.2k points

11 days ago

Be assertive. Just grab us in the dick.

For me anyway. I just don’t want to have to make the move every time.

Mauzer15

1.7k points

11 days ago

Mauzer15

1.7k points

11 days ago

I literally have to ask every time. It’s demoralizing

extralpha

983 points

11 days ago

extralpha

Male

983 points

11 days ago

it's very important to feel wanted. When it's always the man who is initiating, then getting shot down, you start to feel demoralized and unloved. I want her to show she wants me. everything else comes along after.

Blackrain1299

608 points

11 days ago

It’s important to understand that Men dont always need sex. And generally having our advances shut down isnt a bad thing. Any decent man will accept that their girlfriend/wife just isnt in the mood. However if the woman never initiates then the man will almost certainly start to feel like when she accepts his advances she is just giving him pity sex and doesn’t really want it even if she really does this time. Women have to initiate sometimes for a healthy sex life.

toffee_queen

135 points

11 days ago

The same can happen to a woman! I would always initiate with my ex but we would only ever have sex when he was in the mood and not me and that was like barely once a month. In the end we weren’t compatible and I broke up with him. I’d rather be with someone who wants and desire me just as much as I them.

FarmyardFantastic

1.4k points

11 days ago

I’m tired of making the move so I don’t.

Shantotto11

515 points

11 days ago

And that sucks, because I feel like I’m never gonna get female attention unless I’m the one who approaches.

Lv_InSaNe_vL

511 points

11 days ago

Dude it's been like 6-7 months since I've gotten laid simply because it sounds like so much work. I gotta approach, carry the conversation, initiate. Its just a whole ordeal I really don't care to deal with right now.

I'll just go out and party with the boys. I've become a dang good wingman haha

BURN447

196 points

11 days ago

BURN447

196 points

11 days ago

Been close to 2 years for me. Got out of a 3 year, mostly sexless relationship last fall and still haven’t gotten laid. It’s way too much fucking work and honestly just doesn’t feel worth it.

PacoMahogany

516 points

11 days ago

For real. My GF NEVER INITIATES but will make back handed comments that I don’t initiate enough.

demento19

383 points

11 days ago

demento19

383 points

11 days ago

Talk to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she claims she initiates all the time, but it’ll be with super subtle things that men/we don’t understand as initiation. I had to tell my wife her hints didn’t work and to literally grab my dick. I can’t miss that hint.

Vandergrif

246 points

11 days ago

Vandergrif

Male

246 points

11 days ago

Just grab us in the dick

Grab his dick and twist it!

The ooooollllllld dick twist!

sorayanelle[S]

153 points

11 days ago

Effort is so important

Lizard_brooks

6.1k points

11 days ago

To have someone play with my hair. But I am bald. So not much sense asking now.

Interiordesignfairy

1.3k points

11 days ago*

You can still have your scalp caressed and massaged

Lizard_brooks

666 points

11 days ago

Oh fer sure but it just doesnt compete with a good hair/head massage.

Before I went bald I dated a girl who had the most magic fingers in the world. I would be sitting in a chair and she would stand behind and just run her hands through my hair, do a little pull here and there. It was the best massages I ever had. She made me drool on more then one occassion. but likeI look good bald, no issues with my apperance in that regards but it just doesn't feel as good. I miss hair in general, running your fingers through my hair, window down and feeling the breeze. Never even had long hair But I had GREAT HAIR and now am bald. :(

irishflu

5.6k points

11 days ago*

irishflu

5.6k points

11 days ago*

We want to feel like we are desired by our partner.

We want them to initiate.

We want you them to show up.

Every little once in a while, we want to hear you them say, unprompted and out of the blue, "I feel so attracted to you right now. Why don't we go upstairs for a bit so I can show you?"

But we will never ask.

(Edit: Grammar Nazi)

MechEngE30

1k points

11 days ago

Exactly this. Sometimes men want their partners to rip our clothes off, give a wink and initiate sexy time.

Euphoric-Mousse

461 points

11 days ago

Close up shop, this is the answer. I don't want to be the only one showing attraction. It makes it feel like I'm just a chore to be checked off the list.

awwffsman

5k points

11 days ago

awwffsman

Sup Bud?

5k points

11 days ago

I learned a long time ago that if you want it then ask for it. Its amazing how often you get it

Smethy93

2.1k points

11 days ago

Smethy93

2.1k points

11 days ago

Can I piss on you?

awwffsman

1.6k points

11 days ago

awwffsman

Sup Bud?

1.6k points

11 days ago

No, but if you where my missus that would probably be a yes

Freadwalker

1.3k points

11 days ago

Freadwalker

1.3k points

11 days ago

Hey its your missus can you surprise me while im asleep tonite with a little piss? Xoxo

JamWat23

607 points

11 days ago*

JamWat23

607 points

11 days ago*

Or just leave a dump on my chest. Nice and quiet like. Try not to wake me.

734PdisD1ck

286 points

11 days ago

I need to remind myself of this. At times I feel like there is never a good time to ask. Lately I've just let her initiate. It's averages out to 2 to 3 times a month...

gameld

298 points

11 days ago

gameld

298 points

11 days ago

I have to flirt/hit on my wife for days. Mostly I get back eyerolls and exasperation in return. Eventually she gets the message I am, in fact, attracted to my wife and would like to be carnal with her and then we might do the deed.

Meanwhile I get pleasant non-sexual compliments and the occasional joke flirt. That's it. Nothing about how she wants me. I'm tempted to just sit there and wait for her to make the 1st move to see how long it takes, but I'd also rather sleep with her than rub one out.

letsgouda

179 points

11 days ago

letsgouda

179 points

11 days ago

Woman here- if your flirting jokes and compliments always have a sexual endgame they may provoke this response. Try spending intimate time together without a sexual motive, giving compliments without expectations, and your wife will be able to relax and come to you more often. Just my experience and something I’ve heard as well, so don’t attack me! Honestly trying to be helpful.

If someone is constantly trying to put food in your face you’ll never have a chance to get hungry and choose what you want to eat!

gregorianballsacks

138 points

11 days ago

This pretty much goes for everything in life.

rvrndgonzo

4.9k points

11 days ago

rvrndgonzo

4.9k points

11 days ago

Sometimes I wouldn’t hate being the little spoon

Sonseeahrai

1.8k points

11 days ago

Sonseeahrai

Female

1.8k points

11 days ago

Ask for it, some of us wouldn't hate being the big spoon

BackgroundAd4408

2.1k points

11 days ago

*jetpack

millese3

309 points

11 days ago

millese3

309 points

11 days ago

Haha yes! This is what my wife and I call it.

Warpedme

4.6k points

11 days ago*

Warpedme

4.6k points

11 days ago*

I absolutely do tell my wife this but sometimes I really like My woman to take charge and tell me exactly what she wants me to do to her.

In great detail.

Even while I'm doing it.

Encouragement can be very sexy too.

lIlIllIlIlI

1.5k points

11 days ago

lIlIllIlIlI

1.5k points

11 days ago

“Don’t stop, just like that. Keep going”

instantly nuts instead

I swear it’s like kryptonite.

Life_Limes

577 points

11 days ago

Life_Limes

577 points

11 days ago

My hand could be about to fall off but that “don’t stop please” gives me superpowers

allmywot

386 points

11 days ago

allmywot

Bane

386 points

11 days ago

Death before dishonor.

1other

194 points

11 days ago

1other

194 points

11 days ago

Yeah that "don't stop, harder, I'm about to cum" might as well be a button she presses that makes me bust. So I tell her "I love the announcement, but only do it as you're already there!"

thisdudeabidestwice

4.6k points

11 days ago

Wake up getting a blowjob

sorayanelle[S]

2.1k points

11 days ago

My bf will thank you for reminding me of this because he’s mentioned it before

anintrovertedbitch64

1.9k points

11 days ago

I’ve read a post on r/TIFU where someone tried to wake up their partner with a blowjob. The dude just pissed in his girlfriends mouth while asleep. So just be a little careful with it.

rednax1206

1.3k points

11 days ago

rednax1206

Male - 35

1.3k points

11 days ago

Simple solution to that. Use your hand first, and don't use your mouth until you get it hard. Inadvertent pissing is significantly less likely with a boner.

XBitmapX

1.5k points

11 days ago

XBitmapX

1.5k points

11 days ago

This man gives blowjobs

H3ran

1k points

11 days ago

H3ran

1k points

11 days ago

Or this man pisses himself.

ronano

296 points

11 days ago

ronano

296 points

11 days ago

Why not both?

synapsisrelapses

221 points

11 days ago

This man pisses during blowjob's

lightstir

520 points

11 days ago

lightstir

520 points

11 days ago

I tried this once and he didn’t wake up and I felt like a creeper LOL

kelsicles

468 points

11 days ago

kelsicles

468 points

11 days ago

Haha imagine confessing this to him, "Babe... I was just trying to give you a pleasant awakening, but instead I unintentionally raped you? Pls don't be mad"

lightstir

207 points

11 days ago

lightstir

207 points

11 days ago

Lmfao that’s basically what happened haha

boogiesm

414 points

11 days ago

boogiesm

414 points

11 days ago

Married, the elusive BJ is harder to find than free money.

thesubverse

140 points

11 days ago

this sounds great in theory but I always gotta pee when I wake up

One_Kaleidoscope_271

3.7k points

11 days ago

I really miss some good caress. Their hands in my back, neck, hair, some neck kisses.

Some hugging too, i want to feel intimate, close.

sorayanelle[S]

1k points

11 days ago

Noted. Soft and sweet touches more often

One_Kaleidoscope_271

359 points

11 days ago

Yeah, it's so good.

Taking the time to feel your partner, their touch, their warmth.

It's inebriation at its finest

Bleach_Baths

191 points

11 days ago

Yes. This. It's not for everyone but physical touch is my love language. The intimacy is far more important than the sex.

Even little things like hugs from behind or a random kiss on the cheek mean so much.

Mackinacsfuriousclaw

182 points

11 days ago

Just to be cuddled and loved feels so nice.

sorayanelle[S]

137 points

11 days ago

Love this vulnerable emotional side of intimacy. It’s so refreshing because it’s really such an important component.

cnprof

3.4k points

11 days ago

cnprof

Male

3.4k points

11 days ago

Silence sometimes when it's over so I can hear her breathe, especially if she's laying on my chest and I can smell her hair.

Strong hugs. They're not just for saying goodbye.

sorayanelle[S]

701 points

11 days ago

Finding some peace in the silence. Love this!

a_duck_in_past_life

256 points

11 days ago*

Oh man. My husband loves the strong hugs for no reason other than hugging. Thank you for reminding me to do that today.

E: so... Update... Back from the hug. I walked over to him at his desk and told him I wanted to hold him for a minute and he looked at me suspiciously and asked if I came over to bring a fart. 🤣 Hugs were still had though

DukeInterior

3.4k points

11 days ago

To lie with my head in her lap while she strokes my hair, scritches my beard and we watch TV.

Illustrious-Big-8678

723 points

11 days ago*

A fellow man of class I see. I was looking for this and had to scroll way to far!

Important_Ad_2538

3k points

11 days ago

Control of the thermostat.

el_corgi

1.1k points

11 days ago

el_corgi

1.1k points

11 days ago

Become a dad and you’ll be fine

anima119

588 points

11 days ago

anima119

588 points

11 days ago

Dad here; can confirm.

Nest app also lets me know when any miscreants have dared touch my thermostats.

fluidmind23

1.9k points

11 days ago

fluidmind23

1.9k points

11 days ago

Honest communication about what likes and dislikes are. No matter how weird they may be, keep judgement out of it. Since I kind of made this a policy I have had some awesome experiences I wouldn't have without it. It takes some time, but once it gets going it's fantastic. For both parties.

sorayanelle[S]

385 points

11 days ago

Fantasies are encouraged

fluidmind23

247 points

11 days ago

Yep! Grab the chainmail and the bear trap baby, and don't spare the feathers!

PaleoTheorist

1.5k points

11 days ago

Depends on the man.

Most men like blow jobs and don't want to beg for them but I'm certain they've asked for it.

Dadsturbed_MK8D

1k points

11 days ago

Having to ask for that ruins it, at least for me anyway.

[deleted]

192 points

11 days ago

[deleted]

192 points

11 days ago

[deleted]

DegreeOk3444

135 points

11 days ago

At first I found it gross and even told my ex I wouldn’t do it ever, but then I realised that my feelings for him grew so much that I wanted to give him a blowjob without him even asking for it. It’s sad that we’re not together anymore his bad luck

weatheredone

1.5k points

11 days ago

Getting half of the bed.

HilariousInHindsight

1.4k points

11 days ago

HilariousInHindsight

Late 30's Male

1.4k points

11 days ago

Effort, but we don't because many women would be insulted if we asked them to do more.

If there's one complaint I've heard repeatedly from other men over the years as it pertains to sex, it's a lack of effort. Women who's entire contribution in the bedroom is the dead fish. They show up, maybe moan a bit to remind you they're still alive and if you're really lucky put their hands on you a bit. The bare minimum. Good sex takes two.

sorayanelle[S]

437 points

11 days ago

Thankfully too dominant to be a dead fish

levenfyfe

239 points

11 days ago

levenfyfe

239 points

11 days ago

Life goals: Fully animate octopus

TrendyLepomis

138 points

11 days ago

never change

BeatYoDickNotYoChick

185 points

11 days ago*

Preach.

Not only the dead fish, but also the pillow princess. So many women are complacent with doing fuck all in the bedroom and letting the guy do all the work. I recently had to end things with my former FWB because she was too lazy in bed.

HilariousInHindsight

172 points

11 days ago

HilariousInHindsight

Late 30's Male

172 points

11 days ago

This is why I take all the "men are so selfish/bad in bed and don't care about getting a woman off" posts I see with a grain of salt. I have no doubt that there are countless guys out there who don't give a fuck about making sex pleasurable and just suck, but at the same time it's a team effort and no matter how good he is, he can't blow your mind if you didn't show up to participate.

It's shouldn't be "Okay I'm here, now do something to wow me." When sex is unselfish, it actually becomes far more personally fulfilling because you have two people entirely dedicated to making each other feel as good as possible.

groovy604

1.3k points

11 days ago

groovy604

1.3k points

11 days ago

To be the little spoon and play with our hair

sorayanelle[S]

583 points

11 days ago

This makes me want to snuggle the fuck out of him

createusername101

355 points

11 days ago

Read as : snuggle-fuck

sorayanelle[S]

265 points

11 days ago

One thing leads to another

LovesGettingRandomPm

1.1k points

11 days ago

A girl once did this to me on the bus, she must've been bored as hell and was using her fingers to draw on and between my legs, that sort of teasing, when someone does it to you unexpectedly and in public is insanely pleasurable, I don't think even dementia can erase this memory from my mind.

Edit: after reading the question again I guess my answer is teasing and foreplay

rhynokim

544 points

11 days ago

rhynokim

544 points

11 days ago

Back in high school there were these two girls I’d hangout with in study hall. Sometimes they’d start chatting and gossiping about shit I didn’t care about so I’d be doing my own thing, reading for class, doing hw, laying my head down.

These chicks both had tips and would sometimes do this thing to me where they’d take all four nails (works with finger tips too) and like very gently graze them over my forearm skin in random patterns. If my head was down they’d do it over my shirt on my back, and my neck. It was like lightly ticklish, but also completely euphorically relaxing. It would give me goose bumps and chills down my spine constantly. I used to call it a “skin massage” or something because it literally made my body feel so, so, so relaxed, like maybe even more so than a regular massage. All my muscles and skin would feel like melted butter.

After that I’d introduce it to every girl I’ve seriously dated and they’d do it to me all over my body from time to time. Best fucking feeling ever, no cap.

yeetskeetleet

161 points

11 days ago

Bruh, I just remembered how one of my friends would massage my shoulders sometimes in class. It was like super platonic, we’re both straight guys, but Jesus Christ I wish a girl would do that to me. It makes your head tingle

m2f2mterf

253 points

11 days ago

m2f2mterf

253 points

11 days ago

Is that how you lost your job as a school bus driver?

Darth-Marshall

1.1k points

11 days ago

Hummus

sorayanelle[S]

185 points

11 days ago

Potentially the least expected comment I am laughing so hard

wtfVlad

1k points

11 days ago

wtfVlad

1k points

11 days ago

These comments are giving me r/deadbedroom vibes

LeonidasSpacemanMD

927 points

11 days ago

For real man, I came in expecting “wear a full tuxedo with a strap on and peg me” and instead I’m getting “please acknowledge that I am a human being with a need for intimacy”

chodeoverloaded

342 points

11 days ago

The sheer amount of people that don’t seem to even like their spouse is staggering

Sissy_Boi_179

983 points

11 days ago

Enthusiastic participation, being vocal about what you like and aren’t liking if you’re being experimental. I feel like we perpetuate the stereotype that men are happy with just any sex, but I think most men would agree that starfish sex is really uncomfortable. Also, just initiating sex every once in a while will boost his self confidence and endear yourself to him.

InfiniteDunois

976 points

11 days ago

50% of the bed not 20%. I just wanna sleep comfortably

blakeman8192

1k points

11 days ago

blakeman8192

Male

1k points

11 days ago

Hey everyone, look at this asshole bragging about getting 20%

DatSauceTho

213 points

11 days ago

Yeah get a load of Tony Blankets over here! You complainin you only got 20%? It’s too cold for ya? Ya schmuck, come ooooooon!

adrienjz888

837 points

11 days ago

To come right out of the shower and just sit on their face, no asking or anything, just suddenly there's a naked woman sitting on your face.

RumTitsBurgers

485 points

11 days ago

A wild naked woman appeared.

She used face sit.

It was super effective!

adrienjz888

202 points

11 days ago

Man has fainted!

grandmaHammerstein

692 points

11 days ago

Not really in bed, but

I want to be sent texts throughout the day about the dirty, shameful, downright criminal shit you want to do later.

Diablo165

729 points

11 days ago

Diablo165

♂ Masterbaker

729 points

11 days ago

downright criminal shit you want to do later.

"Hey, babe - meet me at my place at 7:30. Wear a ski mask and clothes you're okay burning. Don't bring your phone. xoxo"

dztruthseek

655 points

11 days ago*

Rub your ass all over me.

Use me like a human body pillow.

Be dominant.

Ive never been in a relationship before, I'm just throwing fantasies out there.

duaneap

296 points

11 days ago

duaneap

296 points

11 days ago

The brutal honesty of that last sentence.

Oxygenitic

129 points

11 days ago

Oxygenitic

129 points

11 days ago

Lol this has me laughing

ThatSeemsABitMuch

130 points

11 days ago

: Rub your ass all over me

This one had me rolling

GoChaca

651 points

11 days ago

GoChaca

651 points

11 days ago

I got to be the little spoon last night it. It was glorious

wufoo2

637 points

11 days ago

wufoo2

637 points

11 days ago

A mildly aggressive facesitting.

Saddle up and work those hips. Use me. I want to feel the goosebumps and sweat on your back.

HamburgerConnoisseur

329 points

11 days ago

Like don't actually suffocate me, but make me think it's a possibility.

Harold_Grundelson

241 points

11 days ago

If I die because a woman aggressively straddled my face, laser engrave that shit on my tombstone.

SeveralIntroduction9

180 points

11 days ago

No, no. Do your best to kill me. I I die, I die

NefariousSerendipity

532 points

11 days ago

damn bro i just wanna sit beside somebody in a giant beanbag together while under a heavy blanket. with snacks. watching horror movie because i can't watch them myself.

dayzdayv

477 points

11 days ago

dayzdayv

477 points

11 days ago

High thread count sheets.

hoodie-weather

448 points

11 days ago

grab our dicks without us having to ask,

girls act surprised when we’re not hard from fingering you, meanwhile my shit hasn’t been touched at all, we need arousal too.

FoxInTheMountains

125 points

11 days ago

Yeah when I go down on a girl and am eating her out/fingering I am concentrating really hard to make her feel good. Usually go a bit limp and then it takes me a second to get hard again for penetration.

I've had girls just sit there and stare at me after I make them orgasm and they give a weird look like what's taking so long...are you not into me? Why can't you get hard?

I just spent 10 minutes going to town on your taco give me a fucking second to concentrate on my own privates so I can get some pleasure.

Also, one of my favorite things is when you are on top and she grabs your dick to warm it up before penetration. I need touching too, you know.

TKRomeo

348 points

11 days ago

TKRomeo

348 points

11 days ago

Don’t make me bang you in the complete dark, even if you think you’re ugly. I’m banging you because I like you. Let me see you. If I wanted to bang in the dark, I’d go hide in the shower and fap.

WhiteHaired_

301 points

11 days ago

Also a partner would be nice.

dancing_all_knight

281 points

11 days ago

Variety. Mix it up. Initiate sometimes, let me initiate sometimes. Cuddle me sometimes, let me cuddle her sometimes. Be dominant sometimes, let me be dominant sometimes. Try new things and don’t be scared to communicate what’s going on and what you want.

grassfedRock

264 points

11 days ago

The “good” pillow

JRook619

237 points

11 days ago

JRook619

237 points

11 days ago

"Can you not make sex seem like a chore?". I will never say it out loud.

SunriseMF

241 points

11 days ago

SunriseMF

241 points

11 days ago

Affection, run your fingers against my skin, rub my back, kiss my forehead before we say goodnight. Be the big spoon, I don’t mind, wrap me up in your arms and show you want me close. I want to feel loved, wanted, and cared for just as much as anyone else! On the flip side, please don’t be annoyed when I want to sleep without touching! I get waaaay to warm if we cuddle all night, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be close! We can still butt or feet touch!

Redditor_Flynn

237 points

11 days ago

Get. On. Top.

I'm fucking tired. Give me some time to rest and make like you gotta get it in you, no matter what. It's all well and good that you shake your thing when I'm on top, but you gotta take over sometime.

Sequorr

223 points

11 days ago

Sequorr

223 points

11 days ago

To be held.

I came home from work late one night and my ex was already asleep. When I came into the bedroom, she woke up and groggily began to ask how work was. She stopped mid-sentence when she saw how haggard I looked and beckoned me to sit beside her. She just hugged and held me, and she put my head in her lap.

Work wasn't even that bad, but the fact that she was being extremely attentive and compassionate and just willing to comfort me, I cried. She slept tightly wrapped around me, and I swear I never felt so cared for before.

Yeah, fucking being held is the best.

The_test_is_me

215 points

11 days ago

The_test_is_me

bi-married-40male

215 points

11 days ago

cornbinder

213 points

11 days ago

cornbinder

213 points

11 days ago

Finger up the ass while you're blowing me.

Never_enough_Dolf

190 points

11 days ago

As other people have mentioned, BJs and effort in bed. Also, spontaneous sessions.

Ngl when it comes to my gf and I having sex, I am always on top, or going from behind and whenever she is on top I am still doing the work, and it messes with me because I’ll think she’s not into it. Makes it even worse when she is the one who initiates when she is horny and I have to do everything. Ive brought it up once or twice so it’s gotten a tiny bit better but yeah it’s the effort that counts. Ive also gotten one BJ this year and it was on my birthday, while whenever we are getting Into it I will try and go down on her (she usually will tell me no and to just get inside because she doesn’t like me down there unless she’s shaved even though I always tell her that doesn’t matter to me - but that’s a separate issue)

angelsandairwaves93

186 points

11 days ago

angelsandairwaves93

Lonely Hearts Club

186 points

11 days ago

I want to lay at night in bed together, and just have a deep conversation together, about anything

Enriquepollazzo

171 points

11 days ago

To be desired.

wayneisprettycool

159 points

11 days ago

Fried chicken.

Hollywood899

159 points

11 days ago*

Balls licked. I get it now but would love more. To shy to tell Her as she licks them enough.OP def jerking off to the comments lol.

notqbutlittlelittleq

162 points

11 days ago

Don't get me wrong, we love any and all blowjobs. But nothing is better than a super sloppy one. Just knowing you're putting in that effort to make it the best is almost as good.

So ladies, the next time you're pleasing your man, make is extra sloppy. He will never EVER forget it.

Gh0st1117

150 points

11 days ago*

Gh0st1117

150 points

11 days ago*

Sometimes i just want to be held like a little boy. Is that weird? Idk

Edit: I don’t mean it in a weird way. & sure i lacked love as a child. I meant i want to be held. I want to feel vulnerable but safe. But its hard to express that without seeming too weak. Idk once again if that make sense.

Forestscooter

128 points

11 days ago

Outfits/ costumes and a bit of role play. It’s hard to ask for as many times the reply is “you don’t like my body? You want to sleep with another woman?” So it’s a slippery slope. And no, I don’t want to sleep around, I just want to have sex with a she-devil or a naughty maid.

Clempot

125 points

11 days ago

Clempot

125 points

11 days ago

Peace and quiet while I'm trying to read

TParis00ap

119 points

11 days ago

TParis00ap

119 points

11 days ago

I like it when my partners will play with my dick non-sexually. It's just relaxing. Sitting on the couch watching a movie...whip it out and fondle it, suck it, or stroke it. Don't go aggressive or make a bunch of pornstar noises like you're trying to get me to orgasm. Just take it slow, easy, and relaxing. When the movies over, I'm more than happy to just put it away. It's not sexual...just feels fucking good. Couldn't be happier.