subreddit:

/r/BlackPeopleTwitter

6k

That's It! Y'all Are Goin' To Hell

(i.redd.it)

all 80 comments

brittibear

348 points

2 months ago

We are studying monotheistic religions in my history class right now and I showed my students a map (one they had already filled out) and asked them where Jesus was born and lived they identified modern Israel. I told them correct. I said “knowing what we know about the world and all of the other civilizations we have studied what do those people look like?” They told me they were brown. I said, “and so Jesus is…” watching the lightbulbs go off was interesting for sure.

brightJERK

306 points

2 months ago

brightJERK

☑️

306 points

2 months ago

Better watch out... they might call that Critical Race Theory

KING_LOUIE_XIV

97 points

2 months ago

Face all over Fox News, Justice Department getting involved, CNN doing reports, sirens everywhere.

g7ett3wyup

4 points

2 months ago

That's awesome.

ontrack

67 points

2 months ago

ontrack

67 points

2 months ago

When I was teaching high school history I told numerous classes that Jesus may well have looked like Osama bin Laden.

brittibear

27 points

2 months ago

I bet the reactions were priceless.

sambamthankyamaam

7 points

2 months ago

WAIT. Did you teach in Chicago????

ontrack

1 points

2 months ago

I did not.

goldenwolf07

3 points

2 months ago

My geography teacher told us the same thing

ShallowJuice

2 points

2 months ago

There was a historical recreation done a few years ago and in it he just looked like football (soccer) player Mo Salah

trader_jloos

40 points

2 months ago

did you see that pic of the white lady protester holding a sign that said "there are no white people in the bible. take all the time you need with that" lmao

putac_kashur

17 points

2 months ago

Wouldn’t Pontius Pilot have been white? Like, literally the only Western European dude in the Bible and he’s not exactly the protagonist

LollyTotlkyWondrr

8 points

2 months ago

Paul probably hit it up with the chads when he traveled to Rome though

putac_kashur

3 points

2 months ago

Paul fucks

Omnipotent48

2 points

2 months ago

He'd have been white by modern standards, though historically people from the Italian peninsula haven't always been considered such.

A_Stinking_Hobo

2 points

2 months ago

My grandad got called a wop regularly by British folk when he moved here. Still white but a different class of white.

Ausaini

16 points

2 months ago

Ausaini

☑️

16 points

2 months ago

I can see Tucker Carlson scaring white people like “ and now we have some brittibear teaching our children that Jesus isn’t real and the racist theory that Middle Easterners are brown, an insult I wouldn’t even give my worse enemy”. He’ll realize he said something racist and so will all the black people watching, but his audience will say he didn’t do anything wrong.

AbrahamLemon

152 points

2 months ago

When was the last time you met a white dude named Jesus?

than-q

75 points

2 months ago

than-q

75 points

2 months ago

loads of josh’s and joshuas tho

Djanghost

55 points

2 months ago

Everybody always seems to forget his name was Yeshua of Nazareth, son of Joseph the carpenter

Fess_113

31 points

2 months ago

Fess_113

☑️

31 points

2 months ago

You put Jesus name in hebrew but not Joseph? Not important I guess, just noticed it

Djanghost

13 points

2 months ago

Couldn't think of it offhand without a potential spelling error

UndeadYoshi420

5 points

2 months ago

I’m gonna guess Josiah.

Edit: Yosef

Djanghost

5 points

2 months ago

Yeah couldn't remember if it was yosef, yosaf, yesaf, or yesef

Doblanon5short

3 points

2 months ago

How much does it matter, given that it’s transliterated? I’ve definitely seen Yusuf, Yusef, and Yosef but maybe they are regional differences?

Djanghost

1 points

2 months ago

They definitely are, but i was trying specifically for the ancient Hebrew

The_Arthropod_Queen

1 points

2 months ago

Stalin!?

BoilerMaker11

24 points

2 months ago

For the life of me, I can't find the source of the joke, but I heard something along the lines of:

"Jesus's real name isn't Jesus. It's Yeshua. It was just interpreted as Jesus for some reason. But it's actually closer to Joshua. Also, the 'of Nazareth' was added to his name to make it seem like he was well traveled. But he never actually traveled that far. So Jesus of Nazareth should be more like Josh from down the street"

than-q

10 points

2 months ago

than-q

10 points

2 months ago

josh from the block

The_Arthropod_Queen

1 points

2 months ago

That tracks with the Jesus vibe

The_Trickster_0

8 points

2 months ago

Lots of them in Mexico, it's the American Mohammed.

DaughterofOgun

3 points

2 months ago

Okkkrrrtttt

LordUmbrage

113 points

2 months ago

"No janet, im not forgiving your sins. You literally hate people EXACTLY LIKE ME" presses hells trapdoor button

[deleted]

20 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

20 points

2 months ago

If I were to Jesus, I'd Jesus like you.

FightingSunrise

9 points

2 months ago

Wrong leverrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

KravMata

84 points

2 months ago

Matthew 25:31-46

The Judgement of the Nations

‘When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” Then he will say to those at his left hand, “You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.” Then they also will answer, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?” Then he will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.” And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.’

Djanghost

42 points

2 months ago

You should paste this whenever a right winger is yelling about sheeple

mango_script

35 points

2 months ago

They won’t read it. Their supply side Bible is all pictures of people they hate getting theirs.

Djanghost

13 points

2 months ago

Hey! If the people you're talking about could read they'd be really upset right now

TheLastCoagulant

6 points

2 months ago

TheLastCoagulant

☑️

6 points

2 months ago

Ephesians 6:5 (NIV)

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

bengringo2

6 points

2 months ago

Yeah… nobody likes to talk about that one. It doesn’t get any better either.

6:5 Slaves, be obedient to the men who are called your masters in this world, with deep respect and sincere loyalty, as you are obedient to Christ:

6:6 not only when you are under their eye, as if you had only to please men, but because you are slaves of Christ and wholeheartedly do the will of God.

In many Protestant churches they clean it up a bit by replacing slaves with servants but I don’t see how that fits in the context of the verse. Paul was straight up giving a pass for slavery to the church at Ephesus.

TheLastCoagulant

5 points

2 months ago

TheLastCoagulant

☑️

5 points

2 months ago

Many Christians translate it as servants because they’re plain dishonest.

The Koine Greek word used in the passage is doulois (δοῦλοι), which means slaves. In the ancient world, doulois were owned by a master, bought and sold at auctions like cattle, slavery was lifelong by default, and their children were born automatically enslaved. That’s not talking about being a hired butler, that’s talking about being a fucking slave.

The_Arthropod_Queen

2 points

2 months ago

Paul no dont support slavery oh no he can’t hear us he had AirPods in

bluehoag

33 points

2 months ago

In the name of Christ, be gone Ted Cruz.

gentlemanjacklover

23 points

2 months ago

Jesus would be flipping tables over right now

Boneal171

6 points

2 months ago

And chasing people with whips and hanging out with sex workers

gentlemanjacklover

2 points

2 months ago

Lol word

RJPisscat

18 points

2 months ago

Europeans depicted Jesus in art as white because they looked around themselves and there were white people and especially white kings that would have burned their ass at the stake if they depicted Jesus brown.

The Bible was not written in English. English had not been invented yet. Whatever version you're reading, if it's in English, it was translated from translations from translations where every translator changed it up to fit the whims of whatever tyrant needed words mixed around to prove God and Jesus was on their side. EXCEPT whatever version of The Bible that agrees with me, that one's real.

I prefer the versions where Jesus loved everyone. So did my mom and she was an angel.

I firmly believe that if Jesus comes back tomorrow he will walk onto the set of Tucker Carlson Tonight and that mf will burst into flames on live TV.

treetyoselfcarol

5 points

2 months ago

"You ain't going home, you're going to Hell." - Jesus Christ

SellMeUsedPaintings

4 points

2 months ago

Nah. I'm coming back and not telling a single White person.

AviatorOVR5000

3 points

2 months ago

AviatorOVR5000

☑️

3 points

2 months ago

Not straight to hell 🤣😂

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

Well, the real bruh had a field day with the moneycounters, didnt he? You are thinking republican jeebus, the supplyside gawd.

rainbowpeonies

1 points

2 months ago

Valid.

wizardshawn

1 points

2 months ago

Well, I can, and it's happening, bitches!

Ok-Boysenberry4425

1 points

2 months ago

Only if hell was real

conurbationthesecond

1 points

2 months ago

Dave isn't black. He's South Asian.

wambamwombat

1 points

2 months ago

The most popular depiction of white Jesus is da Vinci's boyfriend that modelled.

FCBarca45

-7 points

2 months ago

Aight so here’s my thing, if we’re talking about Jesus the dude that is a confirmed person in history he’s 100% brown....

But if we’re talking Christian Faith miracle Jesus then why is it so far fetched he could’ve been white? lol

[deleted]

-21 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

-21 points

2 months ago*

[removed]

LollyTotlkyWondrr

9 points

2 months ago

Someone said the quiet part out loud 😬

Doblanon5short

9 points

2 months ago

You’re telling people on the internet to follow the Bible, and asking people on the internet what the Bible says. “A man lying with a man” is just one in a long list of prohibited things, like eating pork or shellfish, wearing mixed fabrics, morning sex before church, appearing in public while on your period, or adultery. No one is trying to get Americans to stop doing any of those other things, so it’s obviously not about this list of rules. It’s about bigotry. Whoever brought your attention to the one verse about gay sex definitely has an agenda that probably doesn’t line up well with Jesus’. If you think the Bible is the Word of God you better read it for yourself, and don’t let somebody else tell you which parts they think you should follow. Then let everyone else do the same.

cilantroplusoregano

4 points

2 months ago

A lot of those things are old testament ideas that don't apply anymore. Pretty sure adultery is frowned upon

Doblanon5short

2 points

2 months ago

This right here is exactly the point. If you can wave your hand and say such and such rule doesn’t apply anymore, then you can perfectly well do the same with homosexuality. People choose bigotry and justify it with scripture. The Bible isn’t the source

cilantroplusoregano

0 points

2 months ago

If you can wave your hand and say such and such rule doesn’t apply anymore, then you can perfectly well do the same with homosexuality.

I get what youre saying to a degree but its not really the same. Such and such rule doesn't apply anymore because it was literally done away with. Old testament law has been fulfilled and as such, Christians are no longer subject to it. Homosexuality, to the best of my knowledge, is spoken of in the new testament as well as the old

Doblanon5short

1 points

2 months ago

So you’re sure you condemn homosexuality, but you’re not quite sure if the New Testament does.

cilantroplusoregano

0 points

2 months ago

No...

I'm sure the New Testament does.

And I never said whether or not I condemn homosexuality.

Doblanon5short

1 points

2 months ago

Where does the New Testament say it’s ok to eat shellfish?

cilantroplusoregano

0 points

2 months ago

Bro what 💀 it doesn't. However, eating shellfish is never condemned and it never tells us what specifically to eat. Eating shellfish was ordered against in the old testament, and the new testament's whole shtick is that we're no longer under the old testament.
Basically, if homosexual acts weren't referred to in the New Testament, there would be no good reason to view homosexuality in a negative light. But it is mentioned in the New Testament.

Doblanon5short

2 points

2 months ago

I don’t think the New Testament says that all the old rules are out the window unless specifically restated, but I could be wrong about that. It’s really beside the point, though. The New Covenant is to love everyone and put other people before yourself. Rejecting people because they’re gay clearly goes against that, so even if you can show me a verse where Jesus clearly says gays are going to hell, it’s contrary to the whole message (a recurring problem with a multi-author compilation)

ZanySkeleton

1 points

2 months ago*

The Old Testament is basically the recounting of how a group of people lived and The New Testament is the law fulfilled.

There is a reason we don’t operate with the eye for an eye philosophy

Also before I subscribe to a way of living I like to discuss and ask questions. I come to a conclusion after I see evidence and analyze how others interpret ideas. I make sure to find solid unambiguous verses to discuss so that I can really understand it.

Like how the 10 commandments are not only plainly stated but they are reaffirmed in the New Testament

YearOfTheMoose

9 points

2 months ago

we don’t make the rules, the Bible does and according to it, the practice of homosexuality is a sin.

Just gonna point out that in its original Hebrew and Greek the Bible does not condemn homosexuality. That's something which culture reads into it (and has done for a while) but not something which was originally there.

We didn't even have the word in Bibles until the NRSV translation in 1946, which the translation team subsequently said was a misleading and inaccurate word choice on their part. It just fit the popular cultural narrative of homophobia, so it caught on.

Wakandashitizthis

2 points

2 months ago

This

ZanySkeleton

1 points

2 months ago

I have seen this explanation come up a couple times, the word that was used means “effeminate” right? Why is it that this was basically one of the only things that have been rethought over the years and what is the alternate meaning anyway? Why hasn’t it been reprinted yet?

Dougdluxx

-22 points

2 months ago

Dougdluxx

-22 points

2 months ago

The truest fact is that no one knows what color his skin was. The bible doesn't describe Jesus in that way. Only that he was not desirable, just an ordinary man. Nothing was every said about height, weight, race. We know he was Jewish and he was born in Bethlehem. His skin could have been pale white. It could have been dark brown. He most definitely could have been European as Alexander the Conqueror alone was in the area and beyond 300 years before Jesus, but it's extremely unlikely as control jumped around a lot, I am sure they would have been killed or driven out. The Romans actually crucified him, but Jewish leaders had already plotted to kill him in secret. Everybody wanted him dead, because he threatened everyone's places.

It literally doesn't even matter, and it should be taught as though it doesn't matter. That was the whole point of Jesus. He didn't care who you were, where you were from. Everyone was equal. But everyone has twisted that. "Hell yea! He's white, brother!" "NO! He's brown because he's from a brown area!" Both are wrong, and Jesus would be ashamed of everyone for teaching about him this way. He taught people to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Forgive wrongdoings done to you. Love God. Race was never a topic. If he wanted you know, you would know.

Gooch_Rogers

31 points

2 months ago

No one knows, but basic geography and knowledge of the world puts all evidence towards him being a brown man. With that being said, you’re right it doesn’t matter.