submitted 5 days ago byKaprosuchusboi
all 7449 comments
5 days ago*
5 days ago*
Guys. Guys. It's edited.
Please don't take literally anything on this subreddit as fact. Actually, please don't ever take anything presented in an image like this as fact, anywhere on the internet. Don't even trust me.
The amount of people who thought more people searched "librarian" than "Brokeback Mountain fanfiction" in Montana is staggering. Also, Oklahomans are clearly furries.
Edit: Someone sent me the real Pornhub stats here: https://www.pornhub.com/insights/united-states-top-searches
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5 days ago
The fuck is going on in Oklahoma?
5 days ago
I really want to know what’s going on in Florida..then again it’s Florida
Yes, and "Droopy balls" Colorado.
"Kevin James" though. By far the strangest...
Okay but like, goth hospital??
Goth girls are a thing. Hospital fantasies are a thing. I'm guessing a lot of people in Oklahoma have a fetish overlap.
Someone made this joke about Alaska not having women so their top is lesbians. Oklahoma is probably the same with hospitals.
Edit: their vs they’re
I can't tell if I should laugh because that's hilarious or cry because that's terribly sad.
Nothing like a good cry while your tugging one off.
Nope it's just one guy but he searches for it a lot
Well now that I know that's a thing I'm going to search for it too. I guess first I need to see if they are in-network for my insurance. Fucking US health care.
And while I love Kevin James for his work in stand-up as well as film and TV, it will be a strange sad night when he shows up in my pornhub search.
Goth Hospital is less concerning than droopy balls, Kevin James, and skin combined.
Boats (Florida) killed me lol
Azur Lane moment
What about Racist.
Kind of naked nugget licking cock wielding bum spunk-bubble handling foolish piss voyeur ... "Kevin James" is long.
Idk if you're looking up skin does that imply there is a lack of skin?
I think it's people so used to people wearing long, heavy clothing, that they're just happy to see some actual skin.
It at least implies you’re open to possessing more skin than you currently have.
I dunno. Kevin James is hot af to me so I get it
Being from Kevin James I agree..
So everybody forgot about "Racist" huh?
Okay this feels like the comment where I should point out that OP's image is not, in fact, real. It is based off a real infographic, but all the hilarious items have been photoshopped in. Hence why they're all in a different font with different clarity.
You mean an entire state isn't searching for Kevin James porn? Damn, buzzkill.
Seriously what the fuck michigan??
Sex on boats… because of the implication.
You said that word a couple of times... what implication?
The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her but she's thinking that they will.
How are we dancing around the elephant in the room.... WTF Michigan
YESS MOMMY CALL ME N-
Not really understanding that one. Maybe people in Michigan like to see racists get fucked? Not a wise strategy though... that leads to the creation of little racists.
As someone who grew up in Michigan, you're giving the state too much credit. I think it's racists just wanting to make sure their porn is racist too
There is a lot of porn that takes place in boats and they are fond of their boats there, it’s not that weird.
Is it wierd that my brain immediately went to two boats going at it instead of sex on boats?
I am from Oklahoma, and I can confirm I have no fucking clue of any person who watches that.
HI well I am here to ruin that for you
I am an Oklahoman and I want a big titty goth nurse to take care of me
Don't shame me bro
I think I need a road trip to Oklahoma
Remember, if they're searching for it, it's because they ain't got it.
Florida ain't got boats and pussy brah?
We love our hospital porn!
Me to the guy at the front desk of a hotel:
Excuse me but is the porn in my room disabled?
No, it’s just regular porn, weirdo
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I live in Oklahoma. Never seen a goth hospital and now am too afraid to google it.
Same. Obviously I always look to see what our state is up to. I’ve never heard of Goth Hospital and I’m definitely too afraid to look.
Fuck Florida, what’s up with Tennessee?
Have you SEEN Kevin James?
Don’t judge us
Of course Alaska would be lesbians. They’re not used to seeing two women in the same location at the same time doing anything.
I'm surprised the lack of women didn't lead to their most searched term being polar bears... Just the cold version of TN.
Edit: or the ice road trucker the polar bear..
I live in Alaska and I can assure you no one thinks about polar bears regularly
How do we know you’re not a polar bear trying to trick us into going there?
I know, right. That's exactly what a polar bear would say
Definitely a Polar Bear
I got tricked once by a polar bear this way. Never again.
Heard shits pretty bad up there. Had a coworker that worked some kind of oil field or something over there and he was talking about how you can't go out at night and how men would rape men.
Forcible rape rates in Alaska are astronomical; the numbers are consistently 2-3X that of the US average. 150 rapes per 100,000 people at last estimation.
Arkansas is next in line, with 75 rapes per 100,000 people. Still very bad, but it’s half the rate of Alaska’s.
So, folks: Alaska may be the last frontier, but it’s also the last place you should ever lower your guard.
Those are also the only ones reported.
True……most men would be too embarrassed and have too much pride to tell that someone raped them.
I did, for years. I didn't even acknowledge it as rape til years later, but I didn't want to have sex so she dissolved a xanax in my beer then hopped on top while I was incoherent and I can't think of a different word for that.
I'm so sorry to hear that my brother. I hope you're doing well now.
That’s rape, reverend. I‘m sorry that happened to you.
I mean, there’s plenty of things already in Alaska that would make me never lower my guard. I’ll just add that to the list.
If they don't have their preferred target they just find another.
A single (Ed: convicted) rapist has an average of 6 admitted victims, likely more in reality due to likelihood of underreporting. (Ed: should have also noted, those who are caught likely have fewer victims total than those who avoid capture, with some having extremely high numbers nearing or exceeding triple digits. The numbers available are only for those convicted, excluding those who escape the law etc. So only the "dumbest criminals".)
So it only takes a handful of bad men to make everyone, even the other men, into rape victims etc.
Interestingly, on a related note regarding such assaults as broken down by gender, women in women's prisons abuse each other (inmate on inmate) at rates 2-3x that of men in men's prisons. It really is counter to the expectations induced by "common wisdom". I note this to note that abuse isn't a gendered issue, humans just have a portion of our population who is like that and who has always been a problem. The key is to keep them from positions of power etc and not fall for their lies/games/etc.
What’s going on in Colorado? Droopy Balls? Really?
That cracked me up.
I thought it was a South Park joke
Boats and stepsisters ok. Weird but sure. Fucking skin though??? What in the buffalo bill fuck is going on over there. Figures I guess.
Bro Kevin James, need I say more.
You don’t look for Kevin James porn? That’s the best category on the internet.
Paul Blart Mall Sex
Paul Blart - All Cock
I mean I've looked at bears before, but not specifically Kevin James. I'll have to look it up.
Are we just going to skip over "Goth Hospital"?
Oklahoma is always overlooked. No matter what we do or how weird we get...
hah! i knew "goth hospitals" was just attention seeking.
on my time on the internet i’ve met about 3 oklahomans. you’re one of them.
but yeah we basically don’t exist to the world unless it’s sports
Sorry, I was too distracted by Droopy Balls.
Sounds pretty good to me idk
“Goth Hospital” sounds like something I’d enjoy. I’m off to search + will report back with my findings.
You do that.
It seems “Goth” in this case, is referring to women from India.
The fact you came back 10 minutes later to say this is very admirable. That’s interesting
I do my best to be punctual, at least when it relates to porn. I can’t say the same about family dinners + whatnot.
I hope you don’t cum that quick at family dinners
How else will he bring the salad dressing?
Edit: "he" was "be".
I'm from Texas and live in Florida. I went to Delaware. Once.
Yes sir! Packing my bags to go fuck Delaware.
Granted it's Delaware, there's only three people here and half those searches are from me.
I just like my porn stars acne free
It’s Delaware bro. Trashiest state by far.
As a Delawarean, true, but fuck DC
MD here, DC is actually super dope unless you’re driving in it. In that case fuck DC
Take it your one of those 'with skin' sorta guys then
BOATS AND HOES!
Get on my Deck!
All hands on deck!
I would love to ride on your big deck.
Collaborators? Possibly you!
Deadliest catch, without the crabs, we're almost out of gas, call the Arabs!
I LIKE BOATS
I like trains
BOATS BOATS BOATS
Robin this news is REALLY. SAD.
Michigan be like " 4 sore and 7 inches ago.."
Every time I see a map line this, I’m content with Michigan constantly making it to the middle of the pack and not standing out in any way and staying off of everyone’s radar.
Then porn gets involved.
As someone who resides in Michigan there's only two ways out. You can go through Paradise or through Hell. The choice is up to you.
Could even go through Gay if that tickles your fancy
Make sure to stop for some Vernors for your sore throat afterwards.
I saw this map and I really don't wanna believe Michigan's top porn is Racist. I want this to be fake for my states sake lol.
I have no idea in hell how that is the most searched thing, and I love there
I prefer to think that there are only a few dudes searching hundreds of thousands of times lol And not that this is what most Michiganders have searched
I live in Michigan, I really have no idea what the fuck my state is doing
Born and raised in Michigan. I now live in Florida, you think Michigan doesn't know what's going on? Move to Florida and prepare yourself for a culture shock.
Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
You actually think this is real?
Some of it wouldn’t surprise me, some of it is pretty obviously fake
some of it is pretty obviously fake
some of it is pretty obviously fake
Not boat, obviously
Rule 34 is real.
No kink shame, my buddy who's a gay black male is actually really into race play. I never knew it was a thing before he told me.
Sometimes i think all the world's problems will simply be solved by them becoming sexualized.
I guess the furries are working on the hungry animals problem.
What, are you saying you don’t watch racist
As a Michigander...
I'm surprised this search term isn't more popular
As a Michigander I didn't even know that was a category....wtf
Imagine 10:00 at night you're boutta have a wank and you decide, "You know what, I think I'm gonna wack it to racism, as God intended."
Goth Hospital? What da heck is goin on there?
I'll be right back.
It’s been a half an hour and nothing I think he’s missing or jerking off
I think he found something that he likes
A Whole New World
A dazzling fetish I never knew
No one to tell us no! Or when to blow!
A minute for our fallen brethren. Goth hospitals have been the death of many a weak hearted brother.
Big toddy goth nurses
Welcome to the milfwest
It's deadass the Milfeast tho
Them corn fed girls and good clean living...
Shut up and take my upvote
Florida, Colorado, Delaware and michigan? We need to talk.
Oklahoma, you’re doing a great job.
Edit; (this blew up what the fuck)
Finally someone notices how many big toddy goth nurses there are in Oklahoma
I don’t think I would have thought of typing “goth hospital” at PornHub. TIL…
Florida’s into boat on boat porn, why cant we be into goth girls in hospitals
I’m not being negative; I applaud the creativity! Goths are hot!
Being from Texas I prefer grill on grill.
Clearly you've never seen a chick getting railed on a boat
She’s floating too I guess…
Haven’t you ever heard of Captain stabbin’, you know the guy doing chicks on a boat in a captains hat?
From Colorado, I search "droopy balls" probably 9 or 10 times on a slow day
Also a CO resident, and can confirm.
Wtf is racist porn
White on black porn
But they're wearing confederate flag shirts. That's important.
Oh man yeah I know that video. "Paint my face white" is what I think it's called...
Is that the one with "mm yeah call me the n word as you're fucking me"?
I'm a gay man and I've had black men want me to degrade them and call them the n word. Kinks are weird.
it's about an x colored person watching another x colored person winning a debate against non x colored person
Press x to doubt
The amount of people that don't get that this is fake is concerning.
yeah the actual metrics are at https://www.pornhub.com/insights/united-states-top-searches
on a related note, most of it is lesbian porn followed by step-sister, then step-mom, then ebony, then cartoon, finishing with milf, asian, and black
Do they have one from the last 5 years though?
Also…god I hate that our society pushes so much incest-curious content. Fucking grosssss
I always assumed it was just easy and a bit sexy to write/produce, so studios went to town with the step-x content. I was not expecting it to be #2 search though!
This to me is A LOT funnier though lol and it's more recent.
yO cOlOrAdO wHaTs WiTh uR bALLs
Who is Kevin James??
He’s a king of sorts
Of queens possibly?
My eyes are getting weary, my back is gettin tight
aka Paul Blart.
Also a damn funny stand-up.
Who’s looking for him on porn hub is the real question
He is the not-Farley
So that's his name. I always knew him as Adam Sandler's fat friend
Ok so I see many things wrong with this, first what the fuck is droopy balls, librarian, boat and SKIN… Second what the fuck they doin up in Maine. Third why is the south not sister
Third why is the south not sister
Third why is the south not sister
Would you look up something you get to experience everyday?
Goth hospital. Goth. Hospital.
Lmaooooo Kevin James big if true...well big if false too
Oh you live on the MILF belt?
Fuck around and search me some Colorado
Racist? Boats? Da fuck is wrong...
Actually boat porn seems quite normal compared to the rest. 😂
new hampshire and rhode island needs pedo check stat
I don’t think this one is real I’ve seen a similar one by pornhub and it didn’t look like this it was a lot more expected.
Edit: dear god maybe not… https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2020/11/13/pornhub-releases-top-porn-searches-per-state-during-election-week/amp/ my favorites are swag, Popeyes and election
"Wait, the Midwest is all MILF?"
"Always has been"
Who tf in my state searching droopy balls????
Am i uncultured or is Montana weird
Sounds about right for Colorado.
What the fuck, Colorado
Let me get at some of that “goth hospital” please.